Satanic Seagull Part 1: The Conception

When Bubba and I were teenagers, we played in a band called "Missing Youth". We had a band room in my mother's basement and that's about as far as we went! Actually, we played a few shows out though I don't remember how many. Our very first show was recorded on VHS and a friend of mine put it up on Facebook. Let's just say this about "Missing Youth", the band was not all that good but we had fun playing in it! I can't imagine what my mother thought of all of that racket coming from the basement! I wonder what the neighbors thought, the room wasn't sound-proofed and we were loud!

We wrote songs with inappropriate content and, as you can see, nothing has really changed! We wrote this song called "Demon in My Closet" and I swear that I heard Nizzy (the singer of the band) say the lyrics, "Fuck your mother, fucker your brother and fuck your father too!" Obviously we didn't play that song when my mother was home! She would've shut the band down right there! 

One of my favorite songs we did was one that Nizzy wrote called "Tell Me". I don't remember all of the lyrics but I remember this line, "Tell me that you like the Grateful Dead. Tell me you don't mind when you're giving me head." I've always thought that song had some potential!

The Niz was a much better lyricist than me. He came up with a few tunes I really liked. "Satanic Seagull" was not one of the songs I really cared for. We put it together as a joke. One day, Nizzy, Bubba and I were messing around in my mom's basement before band rehearsal.

"I wrote this song today in Biology Class," said Nizzy.

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "What is it called?"

He laughed and said, "Satanic Seagull."

"Satanic Seagull?" laughed Bubba. "What the hell is that?"

"Just play something and I'll sing along," said Nizzy.

Bubba and I looked at each other and then we began playing the riff that would become "Satanic Seagull". It was a simple riff on the bass and the drums were straightforward.

Nizzy began singing the lyrics to the song he wrote in Biology Class to the bass line.

"Satanic Seagull, you're world's on fire

Satanic Seagull, you're taking me higher

Satanic Seagull, you're making me sick

Satanic Seagull, you're sucking my dick"

Then came the chorus:

"Satanic Seagull

Watching my every move

Satanic Seagull

Fucking with every groove

Yeah, Yeah, Here we go now!"

We were just fooling around with the song for shits and giggles. I never imagined we would play it out live, which we did! The funny thing was people enjoyed our goofy songs more than the songs we spent a lot of time on and put our hearts and souls into. After we played a show in Topsham, Bubba and Nizzy were getting gas and somebody yelled, "Satanic Seagull" from a passing car. We thought we were roll 'n' stars back then! Christ, we were only sixteen!

Fast forward to September of 2013, after we wrapped "She's Got the Herp", I wasn't sure what to do next. Summer was coming to a close and the band was talking about doing cover songs so we could play at dive bars and make a little scratch (but mostly just to play in front of people). We weren't really talking about doing more Bubba and the Government Cheeze stuff though we were passing around the idea of writing a song called "The Shocker" (the only lyrics we came up with were "Two in the pink, one in the stink") but that idea got put on the back-burner.

"You know what we should do," I said to Bubba while we were doing nothing at my apartment.

"What's that?" he asked, looking up from his iPhone.

"We should record 'Satanic Seagull' and make a video for it," I said.

Bubba laughed as he went back to looking at his iPhone, shrugging off the idea.

"Seriously, Bubba," I said demanding his attention.

"Dude," said Bubba, "that song is stupid. Satanic Seagull? Let that idea go."

"I know the song is stupid, Bubba," I said (making sure I used his name when I spoke - that's how he know's I'm being serious), "but that's kind of the point. I mean, look at 'Chainsaws, Hookers and Blow', that song wasn't meant to be serious. Or what about 'Hell Street'? That song is pretty dumb but we did it. 'She's Got the Herp'? Come on, Bubs, 'Satanic Seagull' fits right in with those songs!"

"I don't know man," said Bubba shaking his head.

I knew I had to give him a sales pitch to win him over. I've been practicing this shit for a long time so when I have a good idea, like Seagull, I can convince my dear old friend to do it!

"Alright, Bubba, picture this," I began, "You are standing on the beach and there's a giant seagull. What we'll do it put Chad in the seagull costume and have him running around on the beach. I don't know what we'll do for a costume, maybe we'll take some white trash bags and make wings out of them."

"Yeah, maybe we can do a seagull mask for his head," said Bubba, who was starting to warm to the idea.

"Sure, whatever," I said. "We get him a mask and the wings and he's buzzing around. Then he starts chasing you through the video. We'll shoot some scenes in the studio of us playing and intertwine them with the footage of the seagull chasing you. How does that sound?"

"That's not a bad idea," said Bubba.

"Maybe you could dress up as the devil again for the basement scenes playing the drums," I suggested, "and the seagull can come into the studio and sort of fly around."

"I don't want to dress up like the devil again," he said. "I don't want people to think we worship the devil."

"Okay, no devil costume then," I said. "What do you think?"

"It sounds like a good idea."

The next day I was at Lippa's hanging out in the morning. Neither one of us we were working at the time so I'd go over a few times a week, hang out, use the internet and watch television while searching for a job. 

"Guess what we're doing," I said.

"What's that?" asked Lippa.

"Satanic Seagull," I said.

"What's 'Satanic Seagull'?" he asked.

"It's a song me and Bubba did with Missing Youth back in the day," I said. Then I briefly explained the history of the song, showed him the clip of the song on Facebook and then I explained the concept for the video.

"What if Bubba got shit on at the end?" asked Lippa when I was finished talking.

"Seagull shit?"

"Yeah, at the end of the video, the seagull shits all over Bubba," he said. "Wouldn't that be hilarious?" 

"It's gotta be a big shit," I said.

"We'll use a five gallon bucket and fill it with flour, water and oatmeal," he said.

I knew Lippa was on board with the plan when he suggested the infamous Shit Scene. I knew Bubba would love the idea because it was funnier than hell! I was fairly sure that Chad and TJ would like the idea. Guess what, I was fucking right!

Bubba and I told Chad and TJ about 'Satanic Seagull', the song and video.

"I'll do it," said Chad. "I'll come up with something better than white trash bags for the wings though."

"I can help with the costume," said TJ. "I'm an expert at arts and crafts. I won the top prize for a Halloween costume at the Moose Lodge two years in a row."

TJ whipped out his phone and started thumbing through photos. "Let me just find it. Oh, here we go."

He held out his phone and showed us the costume. He was dressed like a giant scratch ticket. 

"That's what won me the prize last year!" he said proudly.

It was a pretty cool costume. It was at that point I knew we were going to have an awesome costume for the video. And guess what, I was fucking right again!

Stay tuned Cheeze-Heads for the next chapter... The Birth of the Seagull!